How to Tell Your Parents That You’re Gay – What to Do If They Get Upset

How to Tell Your Parents That You’re Gay – What to Do If They Get Upset

Martina Navratilova, probably the best female tennis player ever, once said that the more gay people came out, the less it will be an issue; she ought to know because she came out even though it was very difficult for her as a celebrity to do so. In that sense you are lucky because you live in a time where many of us already came out. We are an enormous population throughout the world. The group of gay people throughout the world are estimated at 800 million people or three times the population of the US. All I am saying is that you are not alone.

You have to understand that your parents are probably straight and it is really difficult for straight people to understand us. Heterosexual attraction for them is as easy to understand as ABC, but homosexual attraction is Greek to them. They just can’t get it; in fact it might even make them sick. It is as foreign to them as heterosexuality is for us. If you realise that you would be better prepared for their reaction if you tell them.

Kids normally do not understand their parents’ way of doing things. The truth is that most of us felt like that when we were teenagers and it takes a few years before you understand them better. One thing that is true 99% of the time is that parents really loves their children. This is true whether you feel it or not. Parents, who love their children, want the best for their kids whether you can see it or not. In most cases parents react negatively when their kids come out because they realise how others are going to treat you. It is not as if they are angry at you; they are disappointed because they realise that life is going to be tougher for you than for straight kids.

On the other hand parents normally amaze us. You would not believe how many of them accept you for who you are. I will even go so far as to tell you that most parents come around and support their gay kids all the way. You just need to give them a chance to get used to the idea. In time they will realise that being gay doesn’t change who you are. You are still the same kid they raised.

In most cases knowledge helps. If you can get them a decent book that explains homosexuality it will help them to understand it better. So, I would say you abc kids have a very good chance that they will accept you as gay if you give them time and knowledge. That is still the best recipe. Of course it also helps if you are not trying to shock them. Try to understand their feelings, and try not to expect too much of them at the beginning. For instance: a guy walking to his parents, and introducing them to his new boyfriend while they didn’t even know he was gay, is not the smartest thing to do.

Unfortunately I also have to admit that some parents will never accept the idea that you are gay. That is one of the sad things about being gay – sometimes our own parents are the enemy. If that is the situation in your case I am really sorry for you, because that makes the gay life so much more difficult. The best way to deal with that is to go on with your life and find support elsewhere. Just remember one ultimate truth: there is a life out there for you and the fact that your parents do not accept you is NOT the end of your life. Don’t do anything stupid, many other people survives their parents’ rejection and go on to have a very happy life.

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